There are people who are nice because it is inborn, and there are those who are nice because they have adopted the “I cannot comman kee myself” mentality. The latter group takes all that is thrown at them, and it is not because of some courage nonsense, it is because they cannot fight back. Because they have looked around and seen that they cannot fight, even if they tried.
When you are at the receiving end of body shaming and you are being nice, then you belong to this latter category, the category of those who have given up on being happy, the group of those who no longer want to fight because they have lost the will to fight.
First thing you should realise is the fact that when someone body shames you, they are not looking to be friendly, they are rude, and at that point, you have to choose your next words carefully, and it should never be any of these words below
Not until I lose weight: When someone talks about an activity or an outfit that you find interesting, but your weight might limit you from either wearing that outfit or involving yourself in that activity, the best option might be to smile and shut up. The person wanted you to feel bad about yourself, surely they knew that your weight would not let you indulge, but they brought it up regardless. Responding that you will do those things when you lose weight is throwing yourself a low budget pity party, the kind no one will attend.
I’m flattered: Stop saying this to backhanded compliments. Say a thank you and move on. When someone says you look good for a big woman, do anything but reply that you are flattered to this insulting compliment. It is not in your best interest, and it was not said to make you feel good, it was meant to remind you that you were big and managed to look good.
I could never pull that off: When a slim girl comes sashaying in an outfit that you would have killed to have on, say nothing and smile, and if you so badly want to let words roll out of your tongue, then tell her that she looks beautiful and say nothing else. Saying that you could never pull that off as a fat person, is you giving yet another mean person the right to talk down on you, a right they should never have had in the first place.
I eat so much: Quit saying how much you eat like that is the only reason you added weight. Do not turn every person you come across into a BMI calculator, deciding what calorie you should take in and what calorie should be avoided.
Do I look fat? Why the hell are you even asking this question anyway? Why? What answer were you expecting? Oh, let us see “No oh, you don’t, the earth’s is the lord and the fullness thereof” Oh stop it! Yes, you definitely look fat, you are plus-sized and that is how you look, stop giving people reasons to shame you when they had no right to.
So, there you go 5 words you should never say.
As the year 2020 takes full shape, we do not want to hear you say any of the things above.
Happy New Year!
Photo Credit: Jasmine Elder(glamour)