As humans, there are habits that we have that do our self-esteem no good. And it is worse when you do not look like the societal definition of beauty, so you beat yourself down and say hurtful words to yourself because you want to feel as horrible as the society says you are.

You need to understand that the reason people say and do hurtful things to you is because they have a problem, and your size has absolutely nothing to do with it. They are just sick, depraved, bitter people who need a place to pour all that bitterness in their hearts, and you seem like a worthy recipient. They do these things expecting no confrontation and they get away with it. They are the ones with a problem, not you. You are Big, Bold and Beautiful, and if anyone tries to make you feel less, they are projecting their insecurities on you and do not deserve a second listen.

We cannot tell people to stop talking; they will always look for a way to let out all that bile that is eating them up inside. However, what we can do is make sure that you stop self-sabotaging, that you stop carrying on habits that reduce your self-esteem. The first step to stopping these habits is knowing what exactly these habits are.

  1. Saying negative words to yourself: You do not need to wolf down a packet of biscuits while knocking yourself down with words like, “I am fat and ugly and nobody likes or wants me”. Saying negative words to yourself is indirectly telling the world they can say negative words to you too, and that is a problem. Stand up straight and tell yourself, “I am big, bold and beautiful and I have the world at my feet”.
  2. Hanging out with friends who body-shame you: If your friends do not stop yapping about how fat you are or how much weight you have added, it might be time to ditch them. They do not deserve a place in your life if all they do is make you feel less of yourself or less of a human. You deserve better friends.
  3. Being anti-social: Do you know the kid who gets picked on the most in school? The one who sits alone during lunch hours. This is because they seclude themselves and stay away from people who can speak up for them. Find a group of friends who do not make you feel bad and hang with them, go out, have fun, travel, see the world. When you project a happy, lively personality, people will not find it hard associating with you.
  4. Watching depressing, fat-shaming movies: This is a habit that most people have: you feel bad about yourself or something, so you watch movies that make you feel worse because misery loves company. If you belong to this group, please stop it. Stop sitting in front of the TV, bundled up on the couch like a sack of potatoes, eating a bowl of unhealthy popcorn and feeling bad for yourself while you watch a fat actress get bullied. How about you watch a series like Drop Dead Diva, where a plus-sized lady is a badass lawyer? Or movies like Pitch Perfect, where Rebel Wilson is shaking things up with her killer vocals?

You are better than you think, so much better, so start living like it.

Photo Credit: naijaloaded

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