It is no longer news that the moment a plus-sized woman steps into a place, she becomes the object of attention. The question is, what kind of attention?
Now what makes this attention worrisome is that heads are turning in your direction not only because you look stunning, or have a lovely hairdo or have glamorous accessories or are dressed in the most beautiful outfit. There is more.
Rather, these heads are turning because of the size of the woman that just stepped in. What happens next is the most annoying part, tongues start wagging, from those who are absolutely unworthy of your presence. Some of them feel unnecessarily intimidated by your presence, so they seek the chance to say something negative about you.
When in such a situation, remember this:
- It is never about you:
First things first, let’s get it clear that when people open their mouth and release nasty and unhealthy words, it is never your fault. You ought to know that there are lots of negative and toxic people everywhere and they find it difficult to say anything nice about people. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. The problem is with them. They do not know how to be nice, and as a result, nastiness oozes out of them like breath from the nostrils. So you are not the problem, they are!
- Rehearse your lines in advance:
Now that you have equipped yourself with this information about nasty people, you have to prepare for them. Take a look at you before you step out and admire everything good about you while also rehearsing a response for nasty people you may meet. You have to match them word for word, so brace yourself up and get ready. Anyone who has something unpleasant to say to you about your size, shape, complexion or dressing should know that you don’t need their advice or suggestion and that you are extremely comfortable with the way you are. Lastly, their opinions do not count.
For instance, someone says to you, “What are you doing about your weight?” You can just smile and politely say, “Same thing you’re doing about yours.” Or you can say, “My weight is perfect, have you thought about yours?”
- Call the person to order:
Do not hesitate to call a body-shamer to order right away, especially if it is not your superior at work. It is crucial that you do not waste time in giving feedback. Feedback is best when it is immediate. Note that because you are in a public place, you need to avoid being confrontational or causing a scene. As politely as possible, let the body-shamer know that you do not appreciate them saying unhealthy things to you about your body and that they could kindly keep their opinions to themselves.
- Shut them out:
Some body-shamers derive pleasure in spurring people to a war of words or fight. They are so nasty and mean that they are always on the lookout for an opportunity to throw unpleasant words around. You should be mindful of such people and do everything possible to deny them that pleasure. Stay clear of them. You can easily spot them out by their remarks and unsolicited advice; don’t delay in walking out on them. This completely paralyzes them.
Body shaming can take place anywhere and can be done by anyone irrespective of their age, status or even relationship with you. Though sometimes unintentional, it is more hurtful when it is done by a very close person or an older person, but you should know that if they didn’t care about your feelings, they don’t deserve your presence.
For those who admit their wrong and try to make amends, you can let go but those who intentionally are out to hurt you, don’t only give them space, shut them out!
You deserve to be treated right always!
Photo Credit: saaentertainment