Falling in love with you is the first step to becoming bold and confident, and it is not an easy process to get there. So many people think they love themselves, but they don’t. It is not about screaming ‘I love myself’, it is looking at a situation and telling yourself you should not be in it no matter how much you seem to want to be in it. It is putting yourself first, putting your needs ahead of your wants and feelings, it is looking at the love of your life and telling yourself that he is not suitable for you, it is looking at your mother, and agreeing that she is emotionally blackmailing you and you do not need that kind of toxicity. It is looking at a relationship you have put your all into and walking away because your sanity is threatened.
Look at these things I mentioned and ask yourself again if you indeed are in love with yourself. Look through this list and see the things that you have put above your needs and sanity and realise that you do not love yourself.
Loving yourself is not easy, but it needs to be dome. After you have gotten to that point, there is no coming back, you will become selfish with and protective of your sanity, and anyone that consistently threatens it should have absolutely no place in your life, they should not exist.
Here are a few steps to falling in love with yourself.
Forgive yourself: Forgive yourself for your past mistakes, you have wallowed enough, now please, get up and stop wallowing. Tell yourself that you have done well, and forgive yourself. If you keep punishing yourself, you are telling the world that it is okay to punish you too, and they will not be lenient.
Put your needs above your feelings: This will hurt, but you have to do it. When you put your feelings first, when they go away, you will regret it. Put your needs first, make sure you get what you need and stop caring about whose ox is gored, do not let someone else’s feelings make you stop going after what you need. Always remind yourself that you matter, put it on the wall of your room if you cannot remember, remind yourself daily ‘I matter, I matter, I matter’. Let it sink in.
Be gentle on yourself: Push yourself hard but do not die in the process, give yourself time, give your dreams time, give everything time. Give your healing time, give your self-development time. Billie Eillish said, “You have time; literally you have your whole life to stuff, so chill, relax, and give it time”.
Care for yourself: Eat right, workout, read more, save more, invest in yourself more. Just take care of yourself consistently. You deserve it and more.
And finally, you come first. Before anyone else, you come first; you cannot give what you do not have. You.Come.First.
Never forget that — cheers to self-love.
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