There are so many people struggling with self-pity and having problems with personal acceptance, who painfully are ignorant of these.

A lot of them gradually drift into desolation, dejection and eventually depression. That’s how hazardous self-pity can be.

For the benefit of those who are in this situation unknowingly or are close to someone going through same, let me make it clear that you are battling self-pity if:

  1. You always feel like a victim.
  2. You always look gloomy or depressed.
  3. You always want people to feel sorry for you or sympathize with you.
  4. You are always in need of people’s affection and validation.

According to John W. Gardener, “Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.”

Without doubt, anyone suffering from self-pity needs urgent help, and the sooner you accept this condition and seek help, the better for you and those around you. You don’t need to beat yourself too hard – there is always a way out.

The first step to overcoming self-pity is acceptance. The major challenge with many is their inability to accept their flaws. Everyone has flaws; no one is perfect. So, take this as one of your flaws and decide to accept the help available.

Now how can you help yourself out of a self-pity state? Here are a few tips:

  • Have a gratitude mindset:

Take time to write down things you have and focus on them. As long as you are alive, that is enough reason to be grateful. Remember that where there is life, there is hope. If possible, get a notepad and write down things you are thankful for every day. Make this a habit no matter how little it is. For life, food, water, a place to lay your head, family, friends, job, health, and so on. A gratitude mindset will help your mind retain positivity constantly, and this is the beginning of your journey out of self-pity.

  • Sunshine helps:

Research has shown how helpful vitamin D – derived from sunshine – is to the body. Take some time to sit in the sun when it’s mild as much as you can. This can help you clear your head and ease a depressed heart.

  • Try planting and training a pet:

Another helpful tip is planting. You can start a garden by getting flower pots if you do not have enough space for extensive planting. This will help you to channel your energy, time and mind to something meaningful other than yourself. You will spend time caring for your plant. You can also get a pet animal like a puppy or kitten or rabbit. Any domestic animal that catches your fancy will do you a lot of good.

  • Exercise and meditation:

Take time to do some exercise and meditation. You may not necessarily need to go to the gym; you can take long walks or stroll around your environment. Relax your mind with a little meditation or yoga; it will help calm your thoughts.

  • Laughter is good medicine:

You can never overemphasize the importance of laughter. The internet has made comic relief very handy and available. Log into comedy sites and watch funny videos and pictures to ease yourself of tension.

  • Get inspired:

Make it a point of duty to read inspirational quotes regularly. They’ll help motivate you and keep your mind positive too. There are excellent quotes available online.

  • Reach out to others:

Focus on others too. Reach out to those in need around you and help as many as you can.

  • Fall in love with you:

Now, this is something only you can do for you. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and admire the gift of nature you have. You are beautiful in your own way, and there is something special about you, but nobody will appreciate it until you begin to cherish yourself.

What are the things you enjoy doing?

Don’t wait for anyone to motivate you to do them. Take yourself out, go shopping, buy new clothes, make a new hairstyle, have a facelift, go to the cinema, listen to good music, sing out loud in your room, laugh loudly, jump, and hang out with friends and family that care about you. Have fun!

Don’t hold back on anything that makes you happy. There is something unique about you, and you must appreciate it with or without anyone’s approval.

Speak positively about yourself. You are bold, you are beautiful, you are smart, and there’s no one like you. Bear in mind that your happiness depends on you and you alone.

Photo Credit: Roz Mays

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